High Tech Toddlers

iPad, Smart Phones, tv, Leapfrog, laptops, tablets, you name it, and my 19 month old toddler will figure out how to use it in less than 2 minutes. I have to hide my laptop because she will get on it and play. Even my cell phone has a lock code on it now because she was taking selfies and video calling people. I also have lots of texts to friends from her. She will be a pain when she's a teen with a phone.

I swear, they put microchips in the prenatal vitamins so that kids come out and can use the newest Apple products. Of course, I said I wanted to be a parent who didn't rely on technology to help my child "learn" until she was older. Who are we kidding? We need to stop lying to ourselves and admit how much we now rely on technology and the latest gadgets to entertain our kids. I am not ashamed of this. I'm very selective about what she is aloud to watch, what she plays and how much of it all she gets and when.

Lately, when cartoons get turned off, she freaks. Full blown fit with flailing limbs and screaming. So I decided it was time for a break from electronics for her. Get her back to playing with her Duplo Blocks and grocery store.

This day was different though. I am both disappointed and amused at this. We were at my parents playing and she was playing on her toy smartphone (they bought it of course). She puts it up above her head, poses, and says, "Cheee". Pulls it down to look at "it" then raises it back up and says, "CHEEEEESE".

 

In the meantime, I will try my best to keep her little and laugh at how silly she is.

Oh My! Monday: You'll never have sex again... what?

*Note This is not a sponsored post. All opinions are my own and not influenced by others in any matter.*

 

This weekend we rented SEX TAPE. FUNNY! If you have not seen it, you should. I was rolling on the couch and cracking up. Jake and I kept looking at each other and laughing. It's easily relatable to anyone with kids because they were completely honest in it. They didn't try to add any Hollywood fluff.

 

It follows the story of Jay and Annie, they fall in love, have ridiculous amounts of sex, get pregnant, get married, have another kid and of course, they don't have sex anymore. When they announce their pregnancy to her parents, her father says well no more sex. Of course, every parent will laugh there. Again, easily relatable. They don't have sex and try to "schedule" it constantly. Finally the idea of making a sex tape comes up. Which the whole thing is hysterical and like typical movie stories, going to be a disastrous situation. Then it is the struggles of getting "back" the video after it's uploaded to the cloud. Hilarity over and over. 

 

For me, this was an amazing movie. Annie is a mommy blogger. She writes about her life and the real struggles. The movie starts out with her writing a blog post and asking, When was the first time your husband saw you naked? Then when was the second? Now do you remember the last time?

 

Before kids, sex is so easy and so natural. It's fun and there isn't any work in it. After kids, it's a whole new ball game. You have trouble feeling sexy, things don't look like they did before you got pregnant and where is the time? Any parent will tell you, it was hard to be intimate with their SO after kids came into the picture. You're too tired, the kid wakes up, or there is a kid in your bed. I know you're laughing and nodding your head in agreement with me.

 

Every romantic comedy has a grand epiphany with the moral. This one was that we, as parents, quite often forget about our significant other and devote all of our time and energy to our children. That's great but you can't forget about one another. Intimacy is something that we try to act like we don't need but we do. When I say intimacy, I don't mean just having sex. It can be, cuddling on the couch watching a movie. Back rubs for one another. A little flirting or even some fun texts.

I have made plenty of wise cracks about how we aren't even near intimate the amount we were before we were parents. That's ok. We flirt with each other constantly. We make jokes about sex and have fun with it. So, get a sitter, order in some food, and rent a movie. It will be worth it.

*Alyssa*

October 15th: Rainbow Babies Are Still Babies

Sorry for the lack of posting yesterday, I was swamped with orders for the business and was purposely trying to keep myself busy and my mind off of today. For those of you that don't know, today, October 15th is National Miscarriage, Stillborn, SID awareness day. More than half a million pregnancies will end naturally before the child is even born. Chances are most of you have been affected by that in one way or another. Either it was yourself, your spouse, a friend or even a family member.

This is a very hard subject for me to speak about. I still tear up and will cry in private. On this day, in 2011, I woke up like it was any other day, got ready for my job, threw on my scrubs and headed to the office with my giant coffee and snacks. I was 8 weeks pregnant and 1 day. I had just announced my pregnancy to family and friends the day before. I was exhausted from all of the emotions of it and of course, creating a human in my belly. Work was going fine, helping people get their backs adjusted and feel better until suddenly, I got a terribly sharp pain in my lower abdomen. It kept coming back very fast and was buckling me over. I ran to the bathroom thinking I was going to lose my breakfast. I decided that like every other pregnant woman, it had been 20 minutes and I had to go pee again. When I did, I noticed an unsettling amount of blood. I went to tell my boss and she told me to call my doctor.

So I called Jake and he rushed home from work to meet me. As we headed to the doctors office I began to realize what was most likely happening. I was having a miscarriage. No, this can't be. I don't smoke or do drugs and I haven't been drinking. I've been very healthy, exercising, eating well and taking my vitamins. They called us back to get an ultrasound and when we didn't see anything on the monitor we both knew it was true but still weren't saying anything to one another. They took us back to an exam room to see our OB. She walked in the room and you could see the words written across her face. I held my breath and clenched Jake's hand very tight. She did an exam to confirm the ultrasound.

Dr. M stood up, cleaned her self and came over close to me. She said, "Alyssa, Jake, I hate that I have to tell you this but the baby has passed." She leaned in and hugged us both and started praying over us. Once I stopped hyperventilating, she began to tell us what would happen now as I finished the miscarriage. She explained both the physical and emotional pain that will be involved. I will feel pregnant for a week or two after as the hormones leave my body. After she consoled us for a while and cried herself, she left us to have some alone time.

We left and called my dad and told him and then Jake called and told his mom, so they could relay what happened for us. I didn't need to deal with the pity. I was angry. Fuming and red in the face. I hated myself, Jake, God, all of our doctors and nurses, family and the world. I thought it wasn't fair that I have two friends who are healthy and pregnant right now and I lost my baby. I was the one who wanted to have a baby and be the mom. Why did this have to happen to me?

It took me a bit to not cry every day but I got there. It was almost 2 weeks after and I was at my cousin's birthday party. Suddenly, I had felt like I had wet myself. So I went to the bathroom to check and what the hell!!! I'm bleeding like a horror movie! It's Saturday so none of the doctors are in the office. I call the on call doctor and he tells me I need to get into the ER and he will meet me there. My mother in law takes me down and comes to find out, that my body was having the miscarriage all over again. I was still producing an insane amount of pregnancy hormones and so my body stopped the miscarriage. Once it realized the baby was gone, it started all over again. So they had me come back on Monday, and wouldn't ya know, still happening. They decided for health reasons, they need to schedule me for a D&C, dilation and curettage. Having anything left over after the loss or end of a pregnancy can cause serious health issues and even cause cancer. I wasn't crying and was actually being really brave. My anger was now only directed at myself and God. I had the procedure and was very loopy. When I fully came to, I lost it. Bawling hysterically and very upset. The nurse asked if I was in any pain and I told her just sore but I was crying because I had just realized I had nothing left of my baby. I never had an ultrasound, never heard a heart beat. Just the sight of a positive pregnancy tests and the memories of Jake kissing my bloated tummy.

In our society, miscarriages and stillborn babies, have become a taboo conversation. It's as if it's secretly forbidden. People feel like they need to avoid someone after they lose a baby but you don't. Reach out to the family. Show your support. Pray for them. If they already have kids, offer to help take care of them or babysit so they can get some rest. It is a very exhausting time for all involved. I shut down for a while and was depressed. I didn't want to even be near Jake and forgot, he lost his child too. It was hard watching everyone around me have these healthy and beautiful babies. I was jealous of them all but I was still very happy for their families.

Jake and I have been blessed by the Lord again, because we have Audrey. She's healthy, so beautiful and absolutely perfect. God gave us sticky baby dust and said here, get fat and have stretch marks. This is one of the biggest reasons I am not embarrassed of my stretch marks. They are proof of the battles I have fought in order to achieve my dream of being a mom.

Don't give up!

*Alyssa*

Oh My Monday! Love me some FOOTBALL

In our home, we use our manners, say our prayers and cheer for the Seattle Seahawks! We wear our Seahawks gear every game and watch it as a family. We get loud and we yell. We are the 12th Family!

In honor of such an amazing football season so far, I've teamed up with Macey's Closet for a giveaway for your little cheerleader. One lucky reader will win a pair of football leggings, a custom team colors tutu and a team themed headband. To enter, just fill out the form below. Don't have a little girl? Enter for a friend or family member!  

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They call me Mama...

I work, I clean, I cook, I scrub, and I fold. I kiss owies, style hair, prepare lunches and run errands. I make homemade gifts, run a business, write my blog, walk the dog, exercise to get fit and greet my man at the door each night he gets home from work. Am I perfect? No, not even close. Do I try to be? Well obviously, look at all the things I do in one day. I AM NOT MY MOTHER-IN-LAW! Which I like to remind Jake of. I love the woman but I'm not her, nor will I ever be and nor do I want to be.  She homeschooled all 3 of her sons, went to co-op with them, helped teach at our church and does the bookkeeping for her husband's HVAC company. Honestly, I tell her all the time, it's a miracle she hasn't gone crazy and ran away yet. She doesn't even drink! Yes, I am in awe of her. She's an amazing woman. But again, I am not her. I'm not that 50's housewife that I set out to be. While there may disagreements on this in my home, I think I work way harder than Jake. I don't get a day off from my job. It follows me around, literally, she hangs off me while I am trying to go to the bathroom and asks me what I'm doing! 

The other day I was reading these posts about all the things we're doing wrong as parents and one about all the things that we're doing right as parents. Who are these people who do not know me to judge me as a parent? As far as they know, I'm not doing any of the things that "they" think I should be doing or maybe I'm doing all of them. Sadly, we are all quick to judge at one point or another. I admit I have been guilty of it and I have worked very hard not to.

I was thinking about it all weekend after reading that I am "trying too hard to be a perfect parent." I'm not trying to be a perfect parent by anyone's standards other than my own. If your kid looks at you in awe when you make them mac & cheese for lunch, well then you are a perfect parent. They are just so excited and so happy that you gave them something they love which makes you perfect to them. Audrey thinks I'm perfect still because I am home with her everyday. I make her laugh, feed her meals, teach her how to play fetch with the dog and cuddle her when ever she asks me to.

While men say they want a woman like their mother, it's not true. Look, they moved away from their mommy's for a reason! I tried really hard to be June Cleaver, for Jake. I have a set cleaning schedule I do every day. He gets home from work and I am waiting at the door to take his lunch box and give him a kiss. I make him a homemade dinner while he relaxes and plays with Audrey. Come bed time, I clean up from dinner, make his lunch and breakfast for the next day, crawl in bed, kiss him goodnight and roll over in exhaustion.  Now you're probably think I'm lying about something here. Well here is the thing, I actually do all of those everyday, only I don't do it to nearly as well as I would like to. Which is ok. Jake tells me all the time that my job is to take care of Audrey and myself first. I have sacrificed eating all day just to make sure he can come home to a spotless house and not have to worry about not having clean clothes. Does it make me happy when I do that? Not a flippin' bit! I am
a mean person when I am hungry and Jake knows that I'm scary.

There will be days when you are just so exhausted you can't do it all. THAT IS ALRIGHT!!! You don't have to do it all to be perfect. If you and your family are all happy at the end of the day, then you were a perfect parent. Plenty of times I feel like a bad parent because I can't give Audrey what she wants at the moment but then I remind myself, I'm not THAT parent. I don't cave and give her something just because she cries. I know in a few years, I will hear I'm a mean mommy. I will survive it and so will she. As long as I get to be Audrey's mom at the end of the day and get her kisses and hear I love you, that's perfect parenting for me. So stop beating yourself up. Stop letting other's judgment affect your confidence. If you're doing everything you can to make your kid happy and not being an abusive parent, then you're a perfect parent.



In the words of Taylor Swift, "And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off!"

*Alyssa*

Tutu's and wine glasses and hair bows? I got this! Oh wait, where's Audrey?

Pretty excited over here. *Does happy dance* Why am I so excited you ask? Well, I will gladly tell you. Got an email last weekend inviting me to go to a craft walk!!! Whoohoo. Ok, now you're asking what a craft walk is. It's a smaller version of a craft show. This one will be held at a local farmers market (luckily 4 blocks from my house). I'm really exhausted though already. Trying to get a ton of new product made up. Honestly though, I may complain but I'm really lucky to be doing something I love.

Audrey is such a big "help" when I'm working. Just like any other child. One of the biggest questions I get when talking about being a wahm is, how do you do your crafts with Audrey around? Oh man, how do I do it? I'm still shocked but really, there are times that I don't get anything done. Sometimes she is trying to crawl up into my lap while I'm sewing or she's trying to get the scissors for a mad dash. Sitting at the table with her and giving her goldfish helps. I don't believe in bribing with sweets but oh I have no shame in goldfish cracker bribery. When I have a big project to do that I know I just can't get done when she's around I will wait until she's in bed. Then usually Jake will cuddle with her and put her to bed for me. If you need to get anything done with a child running around then your best bet is distractions. Whether it be food, toys, another kid or even your partner. Find the best distraction that will last the longest.

Now no one can judge me for this because we are all there at one point or another but we've all said, "Where's the kid?" I can't tell you how many times Jake and I ask each other that. This is why they invented baby gates. Either she's pulling out her pajamas and trying to put them on or she's on the dog bed rolling around. I really should remember to put the gates up more often but hey, we all get distracted by our kids. As Audrey gets older, I've really been fortunate to have her want to help mama work. I set out supplies and arrange them in ways she can get them for me. I love how excited she gets when she brings me something. It's not child labor when she takes a million breaks in an hour long shift. Audrey is my muse, model, employee, receptionist and product tester. She's my go to girl until bed time. Then Tara takes over the job. When I have to work in the garage, hooch comes out and is my body guard. She loves when I work outside, because it usually means that she's going to get to play fetch or get some treats. She isn't too fond of when I test out product on her. I really should start making her something that she'd enjoy testing... I am thinking she's asking for a batch of homemade treats and knows that I'm writing about her. Thanks dog, I have a huge slobber gob on my pajama bottoms now.

I was asked recently, "If you could give any wahm your best advice, what would it be?" This will always be my answer: Remember why you are doing this. When it gets hard and you want to give up, remember why you are doing this. Did you start this to be home with your family? Is your business goal to help earn extra income for your family? Does your family need a new vehicle? There can be a great deal of different reasons but remember why you are doing this. Write it down and post it in your work space, on your mirror or even the banner on your phone's lock screen.

Last but not least, put up the baby gates. I can hear Audrey playing with Tara's dog tags and Tara is groaning because she's trying to take a nap. If you can keep your kid alive every day, then you can become a wahm. Just find what is the best fit for you, get ready, jump!

You can do it mama!

*Alyssa*

Oh My! Monday: Getting back my confidence after a baby

"You will get fat. Your boobs will sag. Stretch marks are going to cover your body. Oh girl, you are so tiny now that you will bounce back. Are you having twins? You are carrying low, you must be close to delivering. Do you have the big blue line on your belly? You have the biggest rack now. Oh, penguin waddle, how cute. Can you get your pants buttoned up? You not having morning sickness is a sign of an unhealthy baby. You will never look or feel the same way down there again. Oh, yea, sneeze and pee. Welcome to the club of poop and vomit on your clothes. Enjoy never sleeping again. It took me a year before I even lost a pound of baby weight."

These are just a small amount of all of the things that I was told while I was pregnant. I did my best to ignore the horror and myths but yes, they will linger in the back of your mind and can rattle the strongest woman. I didn't buy into the gender predictions, I did do them all and they all said I was having a boy and still ended up with a girl. People who have had a kid suddenly think they are the expert on everything pregnancy and kids. You are given unwanted advice from family, friends and even strangers. I had one lady at the grocery store come up and put her hand on my belly. I put mine right back on hers and gave her a look of yea, this is happening. She immediately stopped and walked away.

Jump ahead to 8 months pregnant, Jake and I are dishing up for dinner and my feet started to turn into maple bars with little sausages at the end. Swelling is a normal part of pregnancy for many women. I thought nothing of it because I had been deep cleaning my house for the past 3 weeks. Luckily I had a check up in the morning. As I was getting ready to leave, my hands and face started to look a little puffy too. I got to the appointment and was sitting in the room swelling up even bigger. My blood pressure was very high, I was a literal water bed and had a high amount of protein in my urine sample. I gained over 20lbs in 3 days of water weight. It stretched out every part of my body. I had two tiny stretch marks that you couldn't see on my belly. After that, my belly, hips and thighs are now covered in them. It was extremely painful.

Audrey is almost 18 months old and while I have lost a lot of weight, I sure as heck do not look like that skinny lady I see in the photo the day we found out about her. My stomach is saggy and in some outfits, I still look 5 months pregnant. It is sad. I am embarrassed sometimes. Luckily, I am very fortunate to have someone who tells me I am sexy. He doesn't care that I'm not 117lbs like I was when we met. Then again, I'm not 16 either. Yes, shopping for clothes sucks. I hate standing next to woman who have a kid who is half the age of mine and they are tiny and look like they never had a child.

Here is the difference between me and a lot of other moms. I remind myself every time I feel down, I ATE TOO MANY DOUGHNUTS I MADE A HUMAN INSIDE MY BODY! A beautiful human, with ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. A human who looks at me like I am perfect and loves me unconditionally. As I am writing this, I am wearing a pair of shorts and a Seahawks shirt. No, I don't look like Alyssa Milano on NFL.com in it but I look good. I may have the appearance of a muffin top from my saggy skin but remember... THE MUFFIN TOP IS THE BEST PART OF EVERY MUFFIN! Your body is amazing with all of the things it can do. It can heal itself, change over time and grow humans. Now you tell yourself this every time you feel bad... I MAKE HUMANS AND I AM AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL! Look at women in these tribes in third world countries. They sag, are round and are absolutely happy with who they are. Why? Because they are moms and they know that being a great mom with a happy kid is more important than being tiny. Personally, I don't want to look like I did before puberty. No offense but I enjoy have some curves now. It will take a long time to get small and I may never be pre-baby looking again, which is ok. Because one, I like to drink and eat and two, I plan on more kids in the future and each time I get pregnant, I will remind myself that I will change and to be happy with that. I'm going to go kiss my kid now and thank my man for supporting me. I suggest you do the same and stop resenting yourself.


Stay beautiful!

*Alyssa*